Arrived here at 12:30pm and drove in from the airport (600/-) with Driver Rinku to the Taj. Checked in and left immediately for Shivala Ghat - Shiv-Ganga lodge. The autoride (100/-) took almost 40 minutes and finally I got dropped off close by and had to walk... turning the corner I saw P for the first time.
P was wearing a black/grey wool double breasted winter jacket over a golden brown jubba/shirt & black trousers - with wide folds - above the ankles. He was barefoot. We hugged and I could smell the strong oil in his hair - and his feet looked chaffed and white - smaller than I remembered - his fingernails were dirty and his general appearance was disheveled but he looked happy.
We went into the lodge and I met Patrick with a grey cap...I had spoken to him earlier about P's 'episode'. Also met John (P kept calling him Joy) and Nina (kind hearted Nina).
P seemed rather delusional - he kept pointing out instances where his energy was changing (improving) the environment... birds flying overhead, dogs chasing him around, the numerous cows that came in our way. He kept trying to make eye contact with random passersby to see if he was being noticed - he gave aggarbathi's (incense) to people randomly telling them it was "Shiva Power". We walked from Shivala to Dasaswamedh Ghat and this was occasionally really good fun because the P I remember would resurface and it wouldn't only be about the "arrival of the super ego".
He paid his respects to a Swami at the ghat - and constantly made grand narratives connecting the chance coincidences like snow in Vashisht, the bomb blast in Benaras, etc., all because of him being there at the time. He also said that in the evening we would take a boat ride and see how the whole city would do his aarthi. We went on a boat ride back to Shivala - and he was fine for most part but would take offence if his request wasn't immediately accommodated - almost shouted at a motorboat passing by because it was polluting the river. He also asked the boatman a couple of times who owned the large palaces and haveli's on the waterfront, many of which were derelict and uninhabited, and asked him to bring them to Shivala to discuss their conservation and renovation etc. He was also repeatedly annoyed by all the plastic strewn everywhere and said that it was all going to be cleaned up...
He was with me till I branched the topic of him coming back…I said to him that I wanted him now to be with me and Mummy and Pappa and he said that he has come so many times and that all of us now had to come and experience this "shift". He told Mummy and Pappa and Meerachechi that he was getting married to a local girl named Ganga on the 14th of Feb. Suni said that this event was also marked on his Facebook. I'm not sure what the significance of this date is but there is no Ganga here…and there definitely isn't a marriage being planned.
He went away to Assi Ghat after we got back to Shiv-Ganga lodge and I got a chance to speak to Mummy and Pappa, Suni and Doshi. We need to get him back to Bangalore…I have no idea how we are going to do this. He has even refused to come to my room at the Taj saying that he needs to be next to the river for the "water energy" - "Ganga Power".
After a while waiting I asked Nina if we could walk upto Assi Ghat to find him. As we arrived there the Bhajans were going on and P was sitting with his jacket and green glasses. Students were sitting nearby sketching people… we walked up ahead and saw Soni - the little girl P had funded to go to tuitions - he kept saying how beautiful she was, what a nice smile she had - her eyes, etc… all this took on new meaning for me now in this altered context. We went to the lovely bookshop from where P had sent me some books. Met Rakesh, the owner, browsed for a bit…P made random conversations with Rakesh who seemed to humor him.
And then to his room - which was nice. A two room suite with a tiny attached loo. No running water - a bucket was outside a private verandah filled with water. His room was spare with many musical instruments around - not much clothing visible - he lit a candle and we sat listening to his BOSE playing off his phone. The room felt comfortable - and he seemed normal.
Throughout the day I was constantly introduced to people, even strangers…Saddhu's etc…I met many people who knew P and some of them seemed vary and unsure of what he may say or how he may react. After this we had chai and then went to Shiv-Ganga as Nina had to meet someone to get her tix to leave tomorrow. P went alone on a cycle rickshaw and we walked - after this he invited everyone at the lodge to dinner at Hayat - a Jordanian guy named Mohammed runs it and P seems to know him well. There was a little girl doing homework there when we arrived and P offered her his card asking her to write to him in case she needed help with anything - it was unusual - her mother was there too…and she looked petrified. We had hummus and pita bread - P had just one and we had a normal conversation about the kids, my work, Gautam's dad… it was lovely -
After dinner P and I walked back and I told him about how Ashokan kept pushing me to fund Prem's movies and find a way to get him to do more films. P said he was never going to do any more films - "his eyes were his camera, no one deserved it and that it was now all going to be for him".
At one point during the day when we were getting off the boat, I was telling him about coming back and being with us. He asked me to stop all this negative talk because it was making him all "hot" inside.
He was also constantly hitting on this Spanish girl who'd just arrived in Benaras - asking her to come for chai to see the sunrise, etc.
Just spoke to Vinu - he thinks this could either be a chemically induced hallucination or a manic episode... in either case P needed help immediately. He suggested getting him medication to calm him down after which we could take him to Bangalore. He also asked me to get Prasanna to come here to help get P back.
P was wearing a black/grey wool double breasted winter jacket over a golden brown jubba/shirt & black trousers - with wide folds - above the ankles. He was barefoot. We hugged and I could smell the strong oil in his hair - and his feet looked chaffed and white - smaller than I remembered - his fingernails were dirty and his general appearance was disheveled but he looked happy.
We went into the lodge and I met Patrick with a grey cap...I had spoken to him earlier about P's 'episode'. Also met John (P kept calling him Joy) and Nina (kind hearted Nina).
P seemed rather delusional - he kept pointing out instances where his energy was changing (improving) the environment... birds flying overhead, dogs chasing him around, the numerous cows that came in our way. He kept trying to make eye contact with random passersby to see if he was being noticed - he gave aggarbathi's (incense) to people randomly telling them it was "Shiva Power". We walked from Shivala to Dasaswamedh Ghat and this was occasionally really good fun because the P I remember would resurface and it wouldn't only be about the "arrival of the super ego".
He paid his respects to a Swami at the ghat - and constantly made grand narratives connecting the chance coincidences like snow in Vashisht, the bomb blast in Benaras, etc., all because of him being there at the time. He also said that in the evening we would take a boat ride and see how the whole city would do his aarthi. We went on a boat ride back to Shivala - and he was fine for most part but would take offence if his request wasn't immediately accommodated - almost shouted at a motorboat passing by because it was polluting the river. He also asked the boatman a couple of times who owned the large palaces and haveli's on the waterfront, many of which were derelict and uninhabited, and asked him to bring them to Shivala to discuss their conservation and renovation etc. He was also repeatedly annoyed by all the plastic strewn everywhere and said that it was all going to be cleaned up...
He was with me till I branched the topic of him coming back…I said to him that I wanted him now to be with me and Mummy and Pappa and he said that he has come so many times and that all of us now had to come and experience this "shift". He told Mummy and Pappa and Meerachechi that he was getting married to a local girl named Ganga on the 14th of Feb. Suni said that this event was also marked on his Facebook. I'm not sure what the significance of this date is but there is no Ganga here…and there definitely isn't a marriage being planned.
He went away to Assi Ghat after we got back to Shiv-Ganga lodge and I got a chance to speak to Mummy and Pappa, Suni and Doshi. We need to get him back to Bangalore…I have no idea how we are going to do this. He has even refused to come to my room at the Taj saying that he needs to be next to the river for the "water energy" - "Ganga Power".
After a while waiting I asked Nina if we could walk upto Assi Ghat to find him. As we arrived there the Bhajans were going on and P was sitting with his jacket and green glasses. Students were sitting nearby sketching people… we walked up ahead and saw Soni - the little girl P had funded to go to tuitions - he kept saying how beautiful she was, what a nice smile she had - her eyes, etc… all this took on new meaning for me now in this altered context. We went to the lovely bookshop from where P had sent me some books. Met Rakesh, the owner, browsed for a bit…P made random conversations with Rakesh who seemed to humor him.
And then to his room - which was nice. A two room suite with a tiny attached loo. No running water - a bucket was outside a private verandah filled with water. His room was spare with many musical instruments around - not much clothing visible - he lit a candle and we sat listening to his BOSE playing off his phone. The room felt comfortable - and he seemed normal.
Throughout the day I was constantly introduced to people, even strangers…Saddhu's etc…I met many people who knew P and some of them seemed vary and unsure of what he may say or how he may react. After this we had chai and then went to Shiv-Ganga as Nina had to meet someone to get her tix to leave tomorrow. P went alone on a cycle rickshaw and we walked - after this he invited everyone at the lodge to dinner at Hayat - a Jordanian guy named Mohammed runs it and P seems to know him well. There was a little girl doing homework there when we arrived and P offered her his card asking her to write to him in case she needed help with anything - it was unusual - her mother was there too…and she looked petrified. We had hummus and pita bread - P had just one and we had a normal conversation about the kids, my work, Gautam's dad… it was lovely -
After dinner P and I walked back and I told him about how Ashokan kept pushing me to fund Prem's movies and find a way to get him to do more films. P said he was never going to do any more films - "his eyes were his camera, no one deserved it and that it was now all going to be for him".
At one point during the day when we were getting off the boat, I was telling him about coming back and being with us. He asked me to stop all this negative talk because it was making him all "hot" inside.
He was also constantly hitting on this Spanish girl who'd just arrived in Benaras - asking her to come for chai to see the sunrise, etc.
Just spoke to Vinu - he thinks this could either be a chemically induced hallucination or a manic episode... in either case P needed help immediately. He suggested getting him medication to calm him down after which we could take him to Bangalore. He also asked me to get Prasanna to come here to help get P back.
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